Philippines- The Next Adventure

On January 1st, somewhere around 12:30 am, I stood outside with my friend Emily, reflecting on the last year and wondering what God had in store for the year ahead. Little did I know... That night I sat down at the computer to check my email briefly. As I skimmed the Ellerslie alumni email, something grabbed my attention- a missionary family in the Philippines who needed someone to homeschool their children. I can't really explain how, but even in that moment I knew deep within that that person was me.

I was brought face to face with the fear and lack of surrender in my heart. I wasn't even afraid of going so much as leaving- saying goodbye to everything and everyone I had ever known for much longer than ever before. I wanted to obey God's call, but as much as I hated to admit it, in my flesh I just didn't want Him to call me to that. (It was during that week that I wrote this poem.) I prayed, wrestled, surrendered, and after about a week, I was finally able to articulate what I had known from day 1- I think this going to happen. As I continued to pray and take steps forward, God gave me the peace that (to my shame) I hadn't even wanted at first.

That was January. Now it's May, and I'm leaving in less than 3 months! I will be a homeschool teacher for the Talbot family, who are missionaries in a remote, tribal area in the Philippines. I'll be teaching 4 of their 7 kids and staying for 6 (possibly 9) months. It's exciting and overwhelming all at the same time, but I know it's where God is leading me., and I know He will be faithful to provide and enable, just as He has through my whole life!

Points for Prayer:
-Wisdom for me as I'm preparing: that I would make good use of the time I have.
-That God would prepare my heart to love this family, and live through me to serve them well.
-Financial provision
-The many practical details that need to come together
-Peace through it all, and that God would enable me to depend on Him now more than ever before.
-For the Talbot family, as they are preparing to return to the Philippines at the end of this month after being in their native Canada.

Also, if after praying you feel that God might be leading you to support me in a practical way, you can do that here: http://usa.ntm.org/missionaries/lindy-meeker  But either way, your prayers are greatly needed and deeply appreciated as I'm approaching this exciting new season! 

Never Once

There is no way I could ever summarize what God has done in my life through Christian Youth Theatre. I have been a part for 7 years- one third of my life. When I first started I was painfully shy, and God worked through CYT to bring me out of my shell. It was largely through CYT that God began to really take me deeper in my relationship with Him, and to teach me the power and beauty of prayer. He has given me the greatest friends I've ever had there, and it has been to me a second family where I am consistently challenged and encouraged in my walk with Him.

This past Saturday I worked backstage for what was possibly my very last play, and certainly my last for a long time. I was upstairs worshipping with the cast, wishing that time didn't fly by quite so fast, when they began singing "Never Once" by Matt Redman- a song I had never heard before. As I listened to these lyrics, I began to cry:

"Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful"

As memories flooded my heart, those words expressed what I was feeling better than I ever could have. It's true. Through every battle, every painful time of stretching, each time I was overwhelmed by the size of the task to which He had called me, every tear I ever cried, never once did I ever walk alone. He was always right there with me, guiding, upholding, shaping, and enabling. And all of the growth, every victory, is nothing more than a testament to His work on my behalf. Never once has He been anything but faithful. 

As this sweet season draws to a close, it's hard to say goodbye. But it's bittersweet, because I know that Jesus is the One leading me forward, and He is the One who gave CYT it's sweetness in the first place. All of the things that matter most- the lessons He has taught me and the friendships He has built- won't disappear just because I'm not there anymore. And it's that history of past faithfulness that gives me confidence in moving forward to the next adventure... which will be the topic of my next post! 

Amazing Love

This is something I wrote a few years ago, and since it's Good Friday, I thought I'd share it (unedited)...

"Last night at CYT we sang the words 'Amazing Love, how can it be/ that you, my King, would die for me?'* As I thought about the words, I thought about kings, and I suddenly had a picture in my head. Picture a medieval king on his throne. A peasant, dirty and in rags, is brought before him. The man has stolen a horse, and the law demands that he hang. His guilt is undeniable, and the king passes sentence. Soldiers begin to drag the man away. Suddenly, the king stands. 'Stop!' he commands, 'Yes, this man is guilty, but I will die in his place.' Instantly, the peasant is set free, and the king is taken to the gallows.

Unlikely? Absurd! Yet how much greater was my Lord, and how much worse was I? The depth of God's love is greater than we could ever grasp."


* "I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken.
I'm accepted, You were condemned.
I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me,
Because You died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be
That you, My King, would die for me?
Amazing love, I know it's true.
It's my joy to honor You.
In all I do, I honor you."

Poem- "Blessings"

"Blessings"

Don't let another take the place
Which must be Yours alone.
Please Lord, don't let Your gifts take that
Which You, the Giver, own.

I see how richly I am blessed,
My life is full, it's true,
But these things have no worth
Unless they point my heart to You.

May I be so consumed with You
That the joys which fill my days
Just lead my heart to love you more,
And to live a life of praise.

A Living Hope

Right now we are in the middle of the last two weeks of a CYT play I'm helping with. The play is so powerful and full of truth, and I know God has been working in the hearts the of cast and crew all year, but Tuesday's rehearsal was an extra special one. For the last half hour we had the most amazing time of prayer. Many of us were in tears as we praised our Savior, confessed our sin, acknowledged our weakness and need of His strength, and offered our lives to Him. It's honestly hard to find words to describe the beauty of what God was doing in our hearts, but it was amazing.

When we finished praying, we sang a song which, in the context of the play it's from, is sung when Christ returns for His bride. As we sang, I was sitting with a friend who is going through a number of painful, challenging circumstances. I always love singing that song, but at that moment I was struck by the reality of what's ahead. All of the trials of life, which in the moment are so overwhelming, are only temporary. Jesus is so much bigger than the biggest hurdle we face, and He is the absolute, eternal reality, while our heartache and struggles are only a vapor. He has promised to complete the work He began in this cast, and in every heart which belongs to Him. One day He will come again, and the beauty of the worship that cast and crew experienced that night will be our eternal reality! We will be together again, this time forever, with no sin or darkness to ever keep us from pouring our hearts out before Him for all of eternity!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
-1 Peter 1:3-7

Poem- "The Storm Within"

The accounts of Peter stepping out to walk on the water with Jesus and Jesus calming the storm have always spoken deeply to me. Not too long ago I was reflecting on them in a time of specific need, and this was the result.

"The Storm Within"

Your voice once calmed the waters,
You spoke peace to the sea.
Well Lord, I need you now,
For there's a storm inside of me.

I just can't fight these feelings,
My emotions won't be still,
And though I try and try,
My thoughts won't bend before Your will.

You're greater than my heart, Lord;
So faithful, strong, and true.
Speak, "Peace, be still," to calm my soul
And fix my eyes on You.

Or if You should call me
To step out into the storm,
I'll trust that, though on waves I walk,
You'll keep me standing firm.

No matter what surrounds me,
Whether storm or calm,
All I need is You beside,
My Love, my Strength, my Song.

Kings and Sparrows

Today I was reading Daniel's prayer in Daniel 2 after God reveals King Nebuchadnezzar's dream to him. Daniel says of God, "He removes kings and sets up kings." (Dan. 2:21b) I was reflecting on God's greatness and sovereignty over nations when God brought another verse to mind: "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father." (Matt. 10:29)

God is so great and powerful that every event of history was completely under His control, and every current event plastered all over the headlines is being orchestrated according to His perfect agenda, and this same mighty God cares for every little bird that lives and dies unnoticed by man.

Right now I am facing so many questions and unknowns which seem overwhelming at times. But the God who rules nations is powerful enough to shape every detail of my life into something which will bring Him glory, and the God who cares for each little sparrow surely cares intimately about me, His own child by the death of His Son. When I truly begin to see the character: the goodness, faithfulness, strength, beauty, wisdom, majesty, and glory of my God, trust is the natural outflow. How can I help but trust Him, when He has never been anything but faithful to the precious promises in His Word? Be Thou my vision Lord, and help me always to see!

"As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!" - Psalm 40:17

"Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God...But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand." - Psalm 31:5, 14-15a

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Poem- "The Call"

Perhaps someday I'll post about the circumstances during which God placed this poem on my heart, but for now, I pray that God uses it to speak to you as He used it to speak to me. My poems are not really mine; they are His gifts to me when I need them desperately.

"The Call"

Can I withhold a part of me from Him who gave His all?
Can I shrink back and hide my face when I should hear His call?
What might He ask of me, so dear, to which my heart must cling?
Is anything too much to give for Him, my bleeding King?
It was no path of comfort walked by Christ, the Lord of all.
The throne of heav'n He left behind, born in a humble stall.
He had no palace rich and grand, no life of ease He led.
No, my dear Savior had no place to lay His weary head.
No jeweled robes clothed His worthy frame, ne'er did the masses bow.
Instead, it was a crown of thorns which graced His holy brow.
That voice, so mighty, strong and grand, which caused the earth to quake
Cried out in anguish from the cross, where He suffered for my sake.
And now He calls me to this narrow road of sacrifice.
Can I see Him dying on the cross and cry, "Too great a price"?
No, nothing is to much to give to Him who gave His all.
And so, by grace, I'll not shrink back, and I will heed His call.

Connecticut Shooting - A Different Perspective

Yesterday morning the unthinkable happened- a man entered an elementary school and opened fire, killing 6 adults and 20 children between the ages of 5 and 10. The reality of what happened is so horrifying that it's difficult to grasp. A shooting in any sort of setting is tragic, but the fact that this crime was committed against children makes it even more appalling. Children are vulnerable, and to protect and defend them is almost instinctive. My heart breaks for those families.

As heartbreaking as that is, the sad reality is that somewhere over 3000 children are killed daily, almost unnoticed, in America alone. Yesterday, while the gunman was opening fire, I was standing outside of an abortion clinic, praying quietly. I watched women go by, as I do every week, some laughing with a friend, some cold and indifferent, some appearing nervous. Everywhere around life goes on as usual. People arrive for work at various offices surrounding the clinic. Some acknowledge my smile and wave back, some don't. Children wait for the school bus. Across the street people stop for coffee at Starbucks or McDonalds. But inside that clean, friendly looking building with the lovely tree in front, children are being killed- killed in a "safe, legal procedure."

God's heart is breaking. Why don't we see? Are we so used to hearing about it that we've grown desensitized? Are we too self-centered to care? Are there more pressing matters at hand? These precious lives being knit together by the One who died to give us life are being literally torn to pieces in the place where they should be safest. How can we, as His people, turn the other way? What ought our response to be? That is a question for each of us to prayerfully ask God. Cry out to Him and let Him break your heart. It will look different for each of us, but may we as the church be blind no longer.

Dear Lord, give us eyes to see, a heart to care, and courage and your strength to respond.

Through Calm or Storm

In the Bible there are two accounts which offer an interesting contrast- Jesus calming a storm and Jesus walking on the water. (See Mark 4:35-41 and Matthew 14:22-33) In the first, He brought peace where there was chaos. In the second, He called His disciple out into it. In both, He was right there with His disciples, and in both, their faith is shown to be weak. I face many storms in life, and I cry out to Jesus. I long for Him to speak "peace, be still," over the raging seas. But if He doesn't, if He calls me to step out and walk on water through wind and waves which threaten to overwhelm, isn't He still with me? Isn't He still in control? Isn't He still working to accomplish His purposes? No matter what storms I come to and no matter what His response, may I ever trust the One who has authority over the wind and rain, for He has promised never to leave me or forsake me.