Hello to anyone who happens to be reading!
This past year has been one of transitions, questions, challenges, closed doors, changed plans, and difficult choices, but I can say quite honestly that I am thankful for it all.
A bit of background: I graduated from highschool in May of 2010. I have never felt like God was leading me to attend college, but for a large portion of my senior year my plan was to attend the local community college and get a business certificate while working at a yarn shop. Ultimately, my goal was to own a small yarn shop myself. If you know me at all, chances are you know that I have always loved knitting and have sold my work at craft sales for years.
As time went on though, it became clear that, for now at least, community college was not where I was supposed to be. Now onto plan B: Work at a yarn shop while seeking other opportunities to learn about how to run a small business. By the fall, I had started seeking work at one of the "many" (translation:3) yarn shops in the area. I was nervous, but very enthusiastic, quite sure that a door would open somewhere.
Days turned into weeks, and soon a month had gone by with no response, although I had followed up and done all I could. Instead of feeling, as I had expected, like I was supposed to persevere and keep trying, I instead sensed God leading me in an entirely different direction.
This was hard. Those who know me know that I like to have a plan, and now I had none at all. The yarn shop had been my dream for years, and at first letting go of it felt like letting go of a part of me. I thought people would look at me and see a wishy-washy person who couldn't stick with any idea, and honestly, I struggled with seeing myself that way.
I began looking for a job, any job, and still nothing. Applying, following up, applying some more, and after all of that not even an interview. In the midst of all this, a good friend observed, "You look weary". That was it exactly. Something would come along that would seem promising, but nothing ever came of it. I knew in my head that God was in control and that I could trust Him, but I was getting discouraged.
Towards the end of all this came the first open door. Through a conversation with my mom, God reminded me of a dream that had been dormant: Ellerslie. I have read and greatly benefited from the books written by Eric and Leslie Ludy (When God Writes Your Love Story and others) and they are two of my modern day heros. Over a year earlier had I first heard of Ellerslie, a very intensive discipleship program they had just started. At the time I felt very strongly that I was supposed to go someday, but I thought it would be several years down the road. Mom just said, "Why not now?" and the more I prayed about it, the more I felt led to apply. I still had no job, and no idea when I would have one, so even applying was a huge leap of faith, but apply I did.
Stay tuned for part 2. It will be more uplifting, I promise! :)