This will be my last post for awhile, as we will soon be headed for parts unknown (aka the village) and once we are there, it will be probably at least a few weeks until I have internet access again. I just wanted to check in, let you know that I'm still alive over here (haha) and share a small bit of what God has been teaching me.
Honestly, there is so much that it's hard to sort it all out in my mind. I've been writing most of it down (and trying not to turn into a hermit in the process), but God is hard at work in my life. There is still so much of me left in me, but God is chipping away, shaping, pruning, refining through fire.... whatever you want to call it, though I really am happy and really do love it here, it hurts. I want to love Him so much that I can say with all of my heart that nothing matters as long as He is glorified. I'm having to preach truth to myself constantly, because in the flesh that is not how I view life, and it is easy to focus on sacrifice, loneliness, hardship, difficulty, confusion, discomfort... and the list goes on. (not that things are even that hard, just harder than anything I've faced before.) But to focus on those things is self-pity, and self-pity is sin. In Philippians 1 Paul is in chains, circumstances far beyond anything I'm facing (obviously!) yet his joy shows through his writing in a way that's impossible to miss, because through it all, Christ is being glorified, which is so clearly the desire of his heart. His eyes are totally off of himself and focused on Christ first, and as an outflow of that, those around him. I am not like that, but I want to be, and if being brought to that point means being cut off from internet, (which only matters because it means being cut off from those I love) for awhile, and being so far from home for much longer, then so be it. No matter what I lose, even temporarily (for truly, this is so temporary!) I can never lose the only Thing I really need. And whatever the cost, it is worth it to learn that. I know that in my head, but He is faithfully teaching my heart. He disciplines those He loves, and I know that He loves me. And that is all I need. I am nothing, but I serve a mighty God who is able to use me in spite of me.
Pray that I will have a heart that says always "Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart. Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art". Pray that He will enable me as I move towards actually teaching. Pray that He will be glorified in it all.
Some more pictures...
We got to spend a few days at the beach with a lot of the NTM missionaries in the area
I was especially blessed by the time I got to spend with Vicky! She first came here in 1980, and it was amazing to get her perspective and hear what God has done in her life.
So beautiful! My camera couldn't do it justice.
Back at the guest house for now. There are lots of roosters, and they crow all day long.
Charlotte, Sophia, Jenna, and I were reading books on the trampoline, but we took a break for this. :)
I fit so much stuff in this action packer to go to the village... this thing is deceptively large!
Loading the truck to go to the village. The rest of us will follow by helicopter!
Honestly, there is so much that it's hard to sort it all out in my mind. I've been writing most of it down (and trying not to turn into a hermit in the process), but God is hard at work in my life. There is still so much of me left in me, but God is chipping away, shaping, pruning, refining through fire.... whatever you want to call it, though I really am happy and really do love it here, it hurts. I want to love Him so much that I can say with all of my heart that nothing matters as long as He is glorified. I'm having to preach truth to myself constantly, because in the flesh that is not how I view life, and it is easy to focus on sacrifice, loneliness, hardship, difficulty, confusion, discomfort... and the list goes on. (not that things are even that hard, just harder than anything I've faced before.) But to focus on those things is self-pity, and self-pity is sin. In Philippians 1 Paul is in chains, circumstances far beyond anything I'm facing (obviously!) yet his joy shows through his writing in a way that's impossible to miss, because through it all, Christ is being glorified, which is so clearly the desire of his heart. His eyes are totally off of himself and focused on Christ first, and as an outflow of that, those around him. I am not like that, but I want to be, and if being brought to that point means being cut off from internet, (which only matters because it means being cut off from those I love) for awhile, and being so far from home for much longer, then so be it. No matter what I lose, even temporarily (for truly, this is so temporary!) I can never lose the only Thing I really need. And whatever the cost, it is worth it to learn that. I know that in my head, but He is faithfully teaching my heart. He disciplines those He loves, and I know that He loves me. And that is all I need. I am nothing, but I serve a mighty God who is able to use me in spite of me.
Pray that I will have a heart that says always "Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart. Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art". Pray that He will enable me as I move towards actually teaching. Pray that He will be glorified in it all.
Some more pictures...
We got to spend a few days at the beach with a lot of the NTM missionaries in the area
I was especially blessed by the time I got to spend with Vicky! She first came here in 1980, and it was amazing to get her perspective and hear what God has done in her life.
So beautiful! My camera couldn't do it justice.
Back at the guest house for now. There are lots of roosters, and they crow all day long.
Charlotte, Sophia, Jenna, and I were reading books on the trampoline, but we took a break for this. :)
I fit so much stuff in this action packer to go to the village... this thing is deceptively large!
Loading the truck to go to the village. The rest of us will follow by helicopter!
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